Here it is, a comprehensive list of the ten worst shots you can actually order. Many of these are birthday, pledging, rite of passage type things as no sane person would ever willingly order something called an “Infected Whitehead.” The only rules are that the shot must contain alcohol and something edible, so even though the “Sour Puss” might contain vodka, lime and cat piss, it doesn’t count. Read on and be thankful if you’ve never had to do any of these. If you have, my heart aches for you.

10. Prairie Fire – Tequila + Tabasco

Tequila already tastes like fire and Tabasco tastes like lava. Combine the two and your mouth will have pitched a tent in the seventh circle of hell for about the next forty–five minutes. Water will not save you.

9. Bloody Tampon – Tomato Juice + Vodka

Many of these shots you’ll find are equal parts disgusting ingredients paired with a disgusting visual. The shot itself is pretty bad, but think about the name while you’re taking it, and it’s over.

8. Four Horsemen – Jim Beam + Johnny Walker + Jack Daniels + Jose Cuervo

Jim, Johnny, Jack and Jose ride together to make you remember why you love them so. Your only saving grace is that at least this one is all liquor. But tequila and whiskey manage to collaborate to produce quite the burn.

7. Cement Mixer – Bailey’s Irish Cream + Lime Juice

This one is less about taste than consistency. The lime juice curdles the Bailey’s which make it seem like someone dropped a hot turd in your mouth. Have fun with that.

6. Abortion – Bailey’s Irish Cream + Peach Schnapps + Grenadine

Again this one is really more about the visual, although the ingredients are probably just as likely to make you hurl as the mental picture.

5. Atomic Fireball – 151 + Fireball Whiskey + Grenadine

First pour the Grenadine syrup, then the Fireball, and last but not least, the 151. The conventional advice is to not do more than one of these if you want to remember the next ten hours.

4. Holocaust – Vodka + Sauerkraut Juice + Hot Mustard

This is lightly more complicated, but the end result has been known to kill pledges. Just kidding. I think. Microwave the vodka and sauerkraut juice for 10 seconds then squirt in the mustard. Enjoy!

3. Smoker’s Cough – Jager + Warm Mayonnaise

Dear Lord, mayonnaise. Only in America right? This is a classic birthday shot which will fully lives up to its odd name. Don’t stand too close by after someone takes this.

2. Infected Whitehead – Vodka + Bloody Mary Mix + Cottage Cheese

The visual, the ingredients, and oh the cottage cheese. Nearly impossible to get down, even harder to keep it there. Just don’t ever do this shot.

1. Tapeworm – Vodka + Mayonnaise + Tabasco Sauce + Black Pepper

What can be said about the tapeworm? It’s kind of like giving yourself dysentery on purpose. It’ll tear up your insides and make you sick with all the symptoms of an actual tapeworm. Sounds like a blast right? Most of these are birthday shots, but unless you really, truly hate your friend, spare him this demonic creation.

If you’ve done:

0: Live a little
1-3: Daredevil
4-6: Tempting fate
7-9: All but insane
All 10: Bear Grylls

So, which ones have I missed?