The Greatest Party of the Summer? The Krislov Farewell Bash

Posted by Paul Tassi 08/07/2007 11:07 AM

"Aww you guys remembered my passion for useless college memorabilia!"

So Marvin Krislov is gone. You know, Marvin Krislov, the University Vice-President and General Counsel? No, you've never heard of him? Or have any idea what his job title means? Well that makes two of us. Anyways, he's leaving and had what has to be one of the most bizarre farewell ceremonies I've ever heard of.

"Guests were invited to sign the back of pieces to a 500-piece puzzle of the Big House that would be given to Krislov and his family as a memory of the ceremony and his time spent at the University. "Does he like doing puzzles?" asked a guest. "I hope so," said Lynette Kosky, an administrator in the Office of the General Counsel."

What? A puzzle that he has to put it together? And then he can only read the signatures if he turns it over? So it's either hang up a puzzle of the Big House, or flip it over and hang up a signed piece of gray cardboard. But that's not his only reward for his years of service.

"Sharphorn also presented Krislov with several gifts: a photo of the law library, a paperweight with a block "M" embedded in it and a handheld fan that spells out "GO BLUE" when turned on."

Wow a photo of the law library, a Michigan paperweight AND a novelty fan? Looks like someone splurged at the M Den! I admitted before I didn't know what his position meant, but "Vice-President" and "General Counsel" sound like something slightly above the calibur of a paperweight farewell gift. Oh but wait, Krislov wasn't only recieving great presents, he was giving them as well.

"At the end of his speech, Krislov had his own gift to distribute - a stack of vouchers for free tickets to an Oberlin football game that he passed around the audience."

To quote Mitch Hedburg, it's like he's saying "here, you throw these away." Is anyone who lives in Ann Arbor really going to drive down to Oberlin to watch a football game? Does anyone in Ann Arbor even know where Oberlin is?

And thus concludes the greatest farewell ceremony of all time, until of course they send off Mary Sue Coleman by giving her a U of M barbecue set.