UCSD OTR: What to Bring, Part I: Sharpies

What to Bring, Part I: Sharpies

Posted by Little Miss Triton 07/19/2007 12:36 PM
Category: Funny Tags: whattobring, sharpies, roommate

Here begins What to Bring, a five part (or maybe 17, I haven't decided yet) series on The Real Deal, or what you really need to pack for college.

Those lists that they give you at Bed, Bath, and Beyond are like, so unrealistic. A portable vaccum? Cleaning is for middle-aged women. Detergent? Laundry is so overrated. Smelling funny builds character... haven't you heard?

Then... what is it you really need?!?! Well, thank goodness you have me as your Guiding Light in Life.

ITEM: SHARPIES.

FIND IT AT: Costco. The 50-color collector's edition pack will do just fine.

YOU'LL NEED IT BECAUSE:

A. Your roommate is a douchebag. “Oh, what? The hot pocket was yours? Sorry, I thought you buy ham and cheese ones!” Label your food (or draw Star Wars scenes on it... whatever it takes) so that next time, he has no excuses.

B. The next time he passes out, you officially have legitimate reason to write DOUCHEBAG (underline it twice for good measure) on his forehead, and to draw multicolored penises on his desk in retaliation. All done with your trusty sharpies, of course.