Calling all gun-toting reactionaries! Have we got some drinks for you! These drinks are not polite or PC, but they sure will get you wasted. Hipsters, well, go drink a Pabst.

Lynchmob
It’s a longstanding truism that mentioning lynching puts an abrupt end to happy conversation in most circles, at least above the Mason Dixon Line after 1865.

1 1/2 oz Amaretto
3 oz Orange Soda
3 oz Sweet and Sour Mix 
 
Abortion
We all know that baby-eating and baby-killing jokes should not result in laughing out loud, so a shot which involves the idea of drinking an aborted baby probably ought not be drank at Easter dinner.

1 dash Tabasco
1 oz OVAL Vodka

Spic
Never, ever say loudly in a bar that you want to pound down a Spic, even if you really do want the tequila-based cocktail.

2 oz Lemon Lime Soda
1 tsp Grenadine

.5 oz Tequila
 

Irish Car Bomb
During the second half of the 20th century, Irish car bombings were not infrequent, so it could be a bit of a smack in the face if you’re hanging out with a bunch of Northern Irish patriots.

3/4 pint Guinness® stout
1/2 shot Bailey's® Irish cream
1/2 shot Jameson® Irish whiskey

Cherry Popper
There are certain delicate turns of phrase that may be used to describe the loss of virginity, usually involving flowers or petals or blossoms. Cherry popping is not one of them.

2 shots Gin (Bombay Sapphire)
2 shots Vodka (Skyy)
12 oz. Cola, cherry (Cherry Pepsi)

Fat Bastard
It’s a bit mean calling someone fat, but having a shot made out of sweet, creamy liqueurs really sort of adds insult to injury.

2 oz vodka
2 oz Godiva® white chocolate liqueur
2 oz 2% (semi-skimmed) milk

Red Headed Slut
You can get away with ordering Red Headed Sluts around your boys, but if you were a politician, you probably wouldn’t want to tell the media that your favorite drink is a Red Headed Slut.

1 oz peach schnapps
1 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur
cranberry juice

F*g Juice
Unless you’re a rapper or using the word to precede “hag,” you really can’t say the Other F-word without looking like a bastard.

1 oz vodka
1 oz DeKuyper® Cheri-Beri Pucker schnapps
2 oz peach schnapps
1 oz coconut milk
5 - 8 oz 7-Up® soda
5 - 8 oz ice

Weeping Jesus
Somehow I just don’t think the association between the crucifixion and booze would seem appropriate to most, though you probably could get away with saying, “I love Weeping Jesus” around the devout crowd.

1 part absinthe herbal liqueur
1 part peach schnapps
1 splash grenadine syrup

Face Raper
The only really accepted contexts in which to use the word “rape” tend to be crime shows, trials, or pseudo-sentimental prose about the white man “raping” indigenous lands.

1/3 oz Everclear® alcohol
1/3 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur
1/3 oz chocolate milk

Skunk Pussy
You really can’t even refer to a cat as a “pussy” anymore without getting suspicious looks. Bring to mind dirty genitalia, and you’ll really be shunned at the sorority house.
 

1 oz Beefeater® gin
1 oz 1800® Tequila
1/8 slice lime
1 can 7-Up® soda