The Collegian has an absolutely shocking headline this morning, "Arts Festival sees increase in crime." Come on, it was inevitable that the Monday after ArtsFest the police logs would have some tasty morsels for us. And if you were downtown at all during the weekend, you saw the police presence. And that goddamn police helicopter.

According to both the CDT and The Collegian, some dude got two underage drinking violations over the weekend. Yea, two, within 24 hours of each other. Now, that's a man on a mission. The Collegian tells us that "on Friday night, a 19-year-old West Chester resident was cited for underage drinking. Police said the next night, he was found collapsed in front of the municipal building, 243 S. Allen St., with a blood-alcohol content of .32."

But, this idiot wasn't alone. Here's the arrest statistics between Thursday and Sunday, according to The Collegian:

-34 citations for public drunkenness
-10 DUIs
-28 public urination incidents
-58 underage citations
"We Are ... Alcoholics"

But the best drunken story is this one:
"a 24-year-old man was cited for open lewdness when police say he was caught streaking down the 500 block of South Allen Street. When the man's friends offered to bring clothes to the station for him, police said the friends provided him with his graduation cap and gown."

Hey what are ****s friends for?!