Heard on Prof Row night:

Freshman 1: Sig Nu? That's like, the frat where people get roofied all the time, right?
Freshman 2: No, no, they're the frat that's like, cool guys who drink all the time.
Freshman 1: I thought that was Zeta Psi!

These froshies sure have a lot to learn — DU is for roofies, Sig Nu is for pot, and Zeta Psi is for adorable St. Bernards. Shouldn't 3 months on the Hill have taught them this by now?