Everyone is getting jacked now that Big Ten play is about to start. We can forget about schools named after mountains or schools with overly aggressive duck mascots. It's time to win the Rose Bowl anyways. The last time we were 0-2 back in the '80s, we ended 10-2. Let's do it again.

The first hurdle we have is Penn State so I'm starting a three part series that explains why we're better than them. Come along with me.

Penn State hates us. Why? Because we screw them over. Every year. Penn State sucked for a long time, then they started getting good. In fact, they had such high hopes that they thought about being undefeated in 2005. Thought about. Then they met freshman Mario Manningham (see video). In a last minute catch we destroyed their hopes for their best season in ages. And we laughed about it.

In fact we've beaten them the last eight times in a row. It's a tradition, like Temple losing every game they ever play or Charlie Weiss never turning down a third helping of barbecue wings. We can't lose, it's impossible.

Next up: Why We'll Win: The Present