Last Thursday, while Columbia’s go-to bar for tables full of Bud Light was swarming with sorostitutes in mini-dresses, the patio was swarming with something else – namely, roaches. They were crawling along the sides of tables, up walls, and onto innocent partiers’ clothes. And when roaches are out and about, it means they’re elsewhere, too – you know, like in the kitchen.

Quarter draws on Thursday nights do not make up for insect infestations. It’s bad enough to suffer through a table of nasty Bud Light. But to watch bugs the size of half-dollars crawl around while drinking one of the world’s worst (though best-selling) beers? That’s just wrong.

Anyone who actually makes this phone call to rat out Columbia’s quintessential alumni bar gets a shout-out on this blog. Think of all the fame.