Journalism student August Skamenca (yes, that's his real name...and his real picture) has won the National Edward R. Murrow award for his radio piece “Dead Voters.” August beat out some stiff competition of professional journalists to win. I’m so ecstatic/bitter that I'm not winning national awards I might just record a Kelly Clarkson-esque album about this. I’d call it “My August.”

You have to open your mouth to talk into that microphone, dear...