The Daily Tar Heel interviewed current "master bell ringer" David Steele and came up with this bit of rubbish. Well, for those of you who've found yourselves wondering who rings the bells,  now you know it really is Quasimodo.

If you don't believe it yet, then get this - the bell ringer before Steele was such a freak he lived in Hinton James for five years. And loved every minute of it.

So for bell-master-in-training Ford Ramsey, there is only one thing to say: Run. Run while you still can.