Now that America is so dutifully concerned about the structural soundness of our nations bridges, the Washington Ave bridge has been restricted since Aug. 21 so we can make sure everything is hunky-dory. This means bikers must now walk their bike between the East and West Bank of campus, else be fined $80 by the Bike Patrol, the latest in top-of-the-line waste-of-time authority figures.

While I do find it ridiculous that the weight concerns on the bridge are going to be solved by restricting pedestrian traffic rather than the cars below, and that $80 is a ridiculous amount to be fined for awkwardly maneuvering your bicycle between droves of pissy walkers, is it really that hard to dismount and walk your bike for a few minutes? I doubt you're going to make much progress on the bike anyhow, it being so congested. 

We can expect the bridge to be restricted for the remainder of the school year, says Vice President of the University Services, Kathleen O'Brien. Good luck getting to class on time, all.