The Beginning of Semester Blues is an ailment a Berkeley student contracts during the first few weeks of school. Although it is an entirely made up concept, one can use it as an excuse for missing problem sets, failing midterms, drinking too much, and erectile disfunction.

Here is a partial list of causes for the Blues:

#3. getting kicked off the bus for not updating bus pass.

#18. Being wait-listed in all classes (comes with an array of symptoms, from the mild, such as spending all day on Telebears, to the severe, such as tricking your friends into dropping classes you want to get into.)

#22. going to Copy Central, waiting in line for an hour, then finding out your reader is sold out.

#41. Pi Kapp inviting you to sake bombing at some far-away-as-hell sushi place, then having them reject you at the door.

#48. Watching sports teams lose to rivals

#60. Overcrowded classes, and having to sit on the floor after the rain, effectively preventing you from sleeping in class without pissing yourself. (no idea why this is #60, should be #1.)

For those of you who suffer from the Blues, do not distress. Waitlists will clear, the line for new bus passes will shorten, and erectile disfunction is reversible. I hope the same applies for alcoholism.