Powerbomb!

An Indiana University evolutionary biologist has revealed that the social structure of beetles is much simpler than we thought. The researchers rather hilarious findings uncovered that beetles are divided up into two groups based on if they have evolved large horns (fighters) or large genitals (lovers). The best part is, you can’t have one without the other, so either you’ve got a big spear on your head and nothing down below, or you’re swinging some pipe but you’ve got no firepower to protect yourself.

The research found however, that both types of males have been able to flourish in nature. The fighters lock horns with each other in order to impress the females, and while the battle rages, the lovers sneak away to make sweet beetle love to the females that aren’t paying attention. It’s a perfect system!

Sadly non-mentioned are the small-horned, small-genitaled male beetles, because they presumably all killed themselves out of sexual frustration.