Every fall I hope for two things: the death of the Ugg boot and for girls to realize leggings really don’t look good on more than a fraction of a percent of those who wear them.

Well, one wish I believe has been granted: class has been in session for weeks now and so far I’ve only spotted one pair of Uggs. Praise jesus.

However I’ve noticed a trend even more disturbing than the original cellulite-hugging cotton pants of doom: now they’re made in shiny versions.

Who thought this was a good idea? Not only will the rolls and cellulite on the thigh be accented by the light of the sun glancing off of them (you’re welcome for the mental imagery), they’ve got to make an awful scraping noise as the legs of these girls rub together as they walk (you’re welcome for that noise in your head now, too). Anything that “shines” cannot be as quiet as cotton.

So while I sit back and shake my head at the fact that none of these girls seem to own mirrors, I guess all I can do is hope Ugg boots don’t make a comeback because I can see now what that would be like.

Ugg: sequined edition. Shudder.