Apparently, all the boys weren’t listening in health class when they said “No Glove, No Love” because of the new 56,000 HIV cases in 2006, more than half of them were men (even though there were 4 million more women in the US at that time).

Of that portion, 72% of those infected were either gay men, bisexual men, or guys that have such a hard time getting girls (or finding the easy ones) that they settle for having sex with their own kind.

It used to be estimated that there were only 40,000 new HIV infections each year but that statistic increased to 56,000 (probably because the guys that have sex with men but insist that they’re “straight” also keep telling themselves that they’re at no risk for HIV, the clap, syphilis, and all that jazz.)

Well, boys, it’s time to man-up and change your ways. Start prepping your engines before go-time because if you don't, your car is going to die on you before you've gotten everything out of it that you could. And when you have no car, you have no ladies.

But no fear, a simple solution is here! If you prefer to play the game without a glove, just follow the saying my brother taught me: “Sex can wait—Masturbate!”