Ever since our beloved Pit Preacher, Gary Birdsong, was banned from the pit, UNC has been even more filled with sin and iniquity than usual. With no one to tell us the various reasons why we're going to hell, we've been like a flock of slutty sheep without a crazy ****ing shepherd. But now- praise Jesus- we've been blessed with a new Pit Preacher, who apparently goes forth with Gary's blessing.

Brother Micah, a roving campus preacher whose wikipedia page rivals Gary's in length, dropped by Wednesday and Thursday to tell us about the evils of homosexuality, masturbation, evolution, and those wacky Arabs. With a baffling outfit including suspenders and a newsboy cap, he looked like a Depression-era carnival barker, and he was at least three times as entertaining. He's gone now, off to witness to NC State, but we here at UNC miss his bizzare antics already.