No, this isn't true obviously.  But, what a hysterical premise, no?

Then again, given the absurd amount of money the Yankees have spent on bringing in free agents alone (near half a billion), is it so much to expect them to do something so wildly over the top?  

The new Yankee Stadium, by the way, is set to open its doors this season.  Within the city block stadium, standing in place where a recreational park once existed, there is expected to be a Hard Rock Cafe, steakhouse, martini bar, and two lounges.  Begs the question, at what point did the actual game going on not serve as enough entertainment?

In my own personal travels, I've seen things that would blow a traditional, old school baseball fan's mind.  In San Francisco there's a slide for kids to go on in left field (that Big Glove and Coke bottle).  There's also a mini field where even littler kids can play whiffleball.  Honest admission time, I've done both.  But, I swear it was before the game, and I didn't get up to even go to the bathroom for the entire game.

In San Diego, they have a simulation batting cage where you can stand in against "real big leaguers".  Really, what's going on is there's a slit in the TV screen that the ball comes from, giving the illusion that Roger Clemens or Randy Johnson on the screen just pitched the ball.

In Oakland there's....well, not much.  They do have a baseball team though.

The food at stadiums is the one thing that stands to improve, and has, basically everywhere outside of New York City.  You can get sushi, chocolate covered fruit, barbeque, grilled fish, tacos, garlic fries, crab fries (fries with the Maryland Crab seasoning), cheese steaks (guess where) and basically anything else under the sun at baseball games now.  At Yankee and Mets games last year, you had to consider yourself happy if you could even find the one or two vendors that sold chicken fingers for nearly 9 dollars.  So, if only for the food, you have to be happy for new stadiums.  Even though, of course 95% of the population can't afford to go these new games, at least they can appreciate the intent of improving quality of life at a baseball game.  

Two things to learn from this.  One:  baseball games aren't only about baseball anymore.  Two:  The Onion is hysterical.