When stars aren’t off canoodling or drinking and driving, they’re making their publicists cringe, one sentence at a time.

Jennifer Aniston has been feisty lately. She talked to Entertainment Weekly recently and gave us not one but two excellent sound bites. Regarding the constant pregnancy rumors, she said that it’s almost going to take the fun out of announcing a real pregnancy one day. She then followed up with:

“Stop stealing my thunder, mother****ers!"

In another part of the interview she responds to a scathing 2006 New York Times critique by saying:

“Who ****ing shit in her Wheaties? How do these people get the opportunity to just spew shit?”

I don’t know, Jen, how do you? For the record, if you don’t want to appear bitter, you should probably stop bringing up three year old grudges in the press. Stay classy!

Don’t you feel like Lindsay Lohan is the retarded little sister the media forces you to have? This week, she wrote a Myspace blog riddled with stupidity to complain about Facebook deleting her profile because they thought she was a fake version of herself. Granted, that would piss me off too, but I would never say this:

“i am also writing this blog in hopes that the people at facebook will un-disable my account and allow me to sign in the EXACT same way it was, same friends, same emails, same "pets" and so on..”

Aw, sweetie, that’s not how technical support works. In any case, we hope Facebook grants her request, at least for the sake of the pets. Think of the pets, Facebook!!

Speaking of people whose access to the internet needs to be restricted, Kanye West is running his mouth again and this time it's not on his blog, which is pretty surprising since he blogs about once an hour. This time it wasn’t even himself he was touting. No, the voice of our generation, had this to say about Beyonce:

"Nobody really wants to recognize that Beyoncé is a f***ing living legend."

That’s because no one else thinks so. If you want more of Kanye’s douchebaggery, head over to his blog to see all the tacky shit he thinks is cool.

P.S. Your new album sucks. Put away the vocal synthesizers. In fact, put away the vocals altogether. 

Do they sell muzzles for people?