With the failure of the banking sector and the subsequent free-falling stock market, it is increasingly difficult for inexperienced college graduates to find employment in the financial services industry.  Although there isn't too much one can do to boost the economy, you still can improve your resume to stand out from the rest of the crowd.  Here are some examples for your resume to help you put a positive spin on your less marketable skills.

1.  Replace your accolade for "Fastest Beer Bonger," with "Excellent time management skills".

2.  Replace your interest of, "Booting and Rallying," with the quality, "Never-say-die attitude."

3.  Replace the skill of, "Throwing the most bad-ass raging parties," with the more distinguished title of, "Profitable Liquor Distributor."

4.  Replace the skill, "Never left an opened beer as a wounded soldier," with the more positive quality of "Seeing every task through to the end."

5.  Replace the skill "Good at Bringing Home Drunk Chicks" with volunteer experience such as, "Established a Gentleman's club to shelter and further satisfy the needs of sick women."

 6.  As for your "Keg Stand Record", keep it.  Everyone respects a good keg stand.