Although using "hook-up" and "Notre Dame" in the same sentence may sound like an oxymoron, I have gathered some evidence that suggests some students do in fact touch the opposite sex. For those of you who are interested in said activities, here are the 10 best places on campus to publicly get it on. I feel obligated to warn interested risk-takers that at a school that will punish you for shaking your weiner too long at the urinal, getting caught doing anything more than holding hands will probably get you expelled.

1. Anywhere above the 8th floor of the Hesburgh Library: There's something about the musty smell of old books that will always get your juices flowing. Utilize the shelving for gravity defying leverage.

2. Grotto: The candle-light sets a very romantic mood, but don't bother praying anymore because you're definitely going straight to hell.

3. Saint Mary's Lake: Be prepared to fight off Phish fans, frisbee players, and Birkenstock wearers who are also looking for some privacy in the woods.

4. Construction Sites at DeBartolo Quad and the CST Building: Spice up your sex life with girdles on girders but don't forget protection... I mean hard hats (condoms are obviously negligible).

5. DeBartolo Computer Cluster: If cyber sex is your thing this is where you can publicly express yourself, but you may have to take it outside by the end because they don't allow any liquids near the computers.

6. Racket Ball Courts at the Rock: You don't even have to be quiet in here since your sexual acoustics can be timed to match the pounding reverberations of other balls.

7. Pool Hall in LaFortune Student Center: No one plays on those pool tables anyway, so you might as well put them to good use. The downside is every round will cost you $1, so you might want to find a cheaper date.

8. Roof of Nieuwland Science Building: This is the "astronomy observatory" where the starlight can make it easier for you to spot his 'big dipper' at night.

9. LaFortune Arcade: Turn on the air hockey table... seriously, turn on the air hockey table.

10. The middle of South Quad: Don't try this during the winter or you'll definitely freeze your weiner off. But luckily, you don't have to worry about getting caught because lets face it, ND priests and a handful of students/faculty wouldn't know what sex looked like if it squirted them in the face.