Tips for incoming freshmen

1.Behold the power of a name change. Meet the high school nerd formally known as Alie, the second she stepped onto campus she joined a sorority and changed her name to “Alexa.” Sexy name backed up by hot sorority girls = instant popularity. Remember: No one knows you in college, you can become whatever you want. Think of Rusty in Greek.

2. Take advantage of the overwhelming free goodies and food that you will be bombarded with during your first week, after that the well dries up and you’ll be starving.

3. It doesn’t matter how tired you are the first night you move it, go out and drink with your floormates. If you don’t bond with them tonight all is lost and you will be labeled the hall hermit.

4. Get a small towel, you’ll look hot walking to and from the shower in it. Leave the bathrobes at home.

5. Establish a scrunchie on the door = I’m having sex don’t come in code with your rommie. You’ll be happy you’ve created a window of privacy for yourself.