Which Penn grad student is enough of an emosogynist to make himself the victim after being caught crotch deep in some punani? The unfortunate Zach Braff act-alike was schtupping a sexy minx on the side, and dared to call her the slut after Minxie called shit on his b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Memo to Penn boys: you can't trip and fall in someone else's vagina. If you're cheating on your girlfriend, you're responsible! It's not like Penn girls have patented some sort of Slut Potion to lure you away from your MRS degrees! Whoever invents that shiz will probably win a Nobel or something.