Since greek life is huge at U of M, I'm starting a new segment where I highlight a different frat and sorority and break them down based on the parties I've been to and the people I've encountered in each. This may be a completely, inaccurate, baseless and untrue representation of each organization but whatever, I do what I want.

Pi Kappa Alpha (Pike) is a siren song to many freshmen early on in their college careers, both male and female. The girls are seduced by their winning smiles, deliberately selected outfits, and endless supply of fruit flavored mixed drinks. The guys, such as myself admittedly, want access to these girls on a regular basis and are thus lured into joining. But right from the start you can tell that things are a bit off there. This is how I got my bid at Pike freshman year:

Pike Guy: Enjoying the party? (sips margarita)
Johnny Quest: Yeah it's pretty cool.
PG: So John says you worked at Abercrombie.
JQ: Uhh yeah, last year.
PG: Did you play any sports in high school?
JQ: Yeah, football and baseball.
PG: Do you want a bid here?
JQ: Do you even know my name?

Here's the thing with Pike. If you get past the sick house with a multi-level dance floor full of hot girls, you're only left with a bunch of ex-lacrosse players in pink Abercrombie button-ups, which incidentally seems to be the only thing they want you to be if they're considering letting you pledge. In addition to being known campus wide as "sorority boys," there are so many Pikes that a year or so ago, a fight broke out between two of them and they didn't even know they were brothers. Go to their parties, drink their fruity drinks and take their girls home with you, but don't go any deeper than that. If you cross over, you won't come back.

Campus rep: 8/10
Douche factor: 9/10