Looks like Cornell's incoming freshmen are setting their priorities straight right away. After less than a month, the hot topic of discussion in the "Cornell Class of 2011!!!" Facebook group is whether or not Collegetown has any places that provide Brazilian body waxing.

I thought this just might be a record, but then I remembered the legendary Class of 1923, who only took two weeks before sending each other desperate telegrams looking for shaving soaps and stocking darners:

DEAR SIRS: ARE THERE ANY SHAVERS IN THE AREA STOP MY GAMS ARE LIKE THE JUNGLE -- AND I DON'T MEAN UPTON SINCLAIR! AM I ON THE TROLLEY OR WHAT!

RE SOAPS: HEY DOLL YOU'RE QUITE A BIRD STOP WHY DON'T WE ANKLE IT TO MY BREEZER AND GET A WIGGLE ON TO THE BARBER OURSELVES STOP IT'LL BE THE BEES KNEES STOP LET'S NECK IT -- ON A TOOT!

But hey, let's give these new kids a little credit. At least they're tackling modern gender issues with poise. Here's this century's great debate (and I'm quoting here):

Boy: "what's the difference between brazilian waxing and regular waxing?"
Girl: "hahahahahahahahaha...oh boys."

Oh, those boys. When will they ever learn?