Some call us slutty, irresponsible underage alcoholics – I just call us college students. In terms of the first of those flattering adjectives, I’ve come to embrace the fact that we’re all bound to make some stupid sexual decisions during our time at Penn. Better that we get it all out now than when we’re 45 years old with three kids and an attractive gardener or nanny.

That being said, besides the obvious dangers of random hook-ups (i.e. STDs), you can’t forget about the worst of them all: awkward daytime run-ins.

Our campus really isn’t that big, and you’re bound to see a random hook-up somewhere. However, while it’s easy to avoid eye-contact on a very crowded Locust Walk, some situations are just inevitably uncomfortable. So, if you can, try to avoid the Most Awkward Places to Bump Into a Random Hook-Up:

1.) The Line at Einstein’s Bagels
Since, as I’ve mentioned, that place takes 20 minutes to toast and butter a bagel, you’ll be stuck in that line for quite a while. A shitty situation as is, and way worse if you happen to be standing butt-to-butt with someone you don’t want to see.

2.) The Connected Desks in Van Pelt
It’s weird enough to look up from your work and gaze into someone else’s eyes regardless of who it is. So if that person happens to be last week’s Catch of the Day…just leave the library. Seriously.

3.) Pottruck
Clearly, you don’t want to see a random hook-up as you’re grunting away on the treadmill with a wedgie and back-sweat. 

4.) Being Flyered on Locust
You can’t avoid having flyers for a capella groups and comedy troupes shoved at your face on Locust Walk. However, a friend of mine was once flyered by a guy she had hooked-up with a few weeks earlier. Try to think of something more uncomfortable – I dare you.