As 2009 lumbers off to a start, the first thing that everyone assumes they must do to start the year afresh is to come up with a list of usually unkeepable resolutions. Though I do admire the theoretic dedication and perseverance that stands behind one’s resolve to make a billion dollars and lose 10 pounds a week for all of 2009, sometimes these wishes are a bit unlikely to come true.

Even worse, they are so clichéd. Come on, people, can’t we come up with anything better than money and looks? Here are five of the most typical – and hardest to keep – new years resolutions.

1.) Losing Weight
Certainly the most common resolution of all, losing weight is a great goal if you want to improve your health. But, truly, it’s easier said than done, and many people don’t actually want to work that hard. Unfortunately, standing on a treadmill with a doughnut in hand will not make you trimmer via osmosis. 

2.) Improving Your Love Life
Good luck trying to find a significant other in the college world of random hook-ups and drunken rendezvous. According to many of the, uh, encouraging articles my mother likes to email me, dating no longer exists for the 18-25 age group. Huh.

3.) Making Moolah
Another timeless resolution, of course. But with our current economy, I’m not feeling like this is a realistic year to make your first million. Let’s all focus on not losing any more money first.

4.) Being Successful in Work or School
Again, this is probably not a promising time to make your way up any professional ladders. But, hey, improving your success in school is always a positive resolution – although it can be difficult to make the library-or-watching-30-Rock decision on a Thursday night.

5.) Learning a New Skill
As much as I would love to become a five star chef, or a rock climber, or a Grandma-caliber knitter, or a sick guitarist, somehow I don’t think I’ll have time to make my way to any mountains (or kitchens, for that matter) this year. Although all of those things sound pretty awesome…maybe I’m getting sucked into the whole resolution thing after all. Watch out – here come the home-knit scarves.