Every university has its myths or traditions – you know, the little stories that you hear on campus tours and read on the website. Well, Penn has its fair share of quirky legends, so here is a comprehensive list of the Top Five Penn Myths That You Hear About on a Campus Tour (And Some The Tour Guides Purposely Forget to Tell You):

1) The Toast Zamboni

When we “toast dear old Penn” at football games, we famously throw toast on the field (which, by the way, is not as exciting as it sounds), creating a problem for the football players who don’t want to trip on Wonderbread. So a brilliant engineering student created a toast zamboni to collect the bread…The End.

2) The Compass

Legend has it that if a freshman steps on the compass engraved into Locust Walk on 37th street before his first midterm, he will fail said test. People say that if you make this mistake, the only way to undo The Curse is to have sex under the big broken button statue outside of Van Pelt Library. Which brings me to number 3…

3) Sex Under the Button

Everyone wants to do it. I’m not entirely sure why.

4) The Ben Franklin Statue

Here’s a more PG-rated story about the button, which sits directly across from a statue of Ben Franklin that, appropriately, is missing a button on its vest. Apparently, the artist noticed the missing button and concluded that it should manifest itself as a huge, white, bizarre, apparently-sexy sculpture.

5.) The Other Ben Franklin Statue…

Is actually a bench on which a faux-Ben is creepily perched, and has been peed on by more frat guys than you could count. So for God’s sake do not go near that bench (but laugh when Japanese tourists take pictures on it).