While this didn't happen at Penn State, it did happen at a school that has Penn in the title and was reported in the CDT, so I figure that's close enough. A gang of ruffian children ages 9-13 have been allegedly assaulting UPenn students on their campus. Can someone tell me how this is a problem?

I've fought plenty of 9-13 year olds, and let me tell you...they cannot take a punch. If you can't defend yourself against a few kids who think they're real life gangsters, you probably shouldn't be in college. There's no shame in laying out a pre-teen. The shame part usually comes in when you kick them while they're down. Also, I hear the tears of a ten year old are just like unicorn blood. If you drink them they'll sustain you if you're some sort of evil wizard.