Well, not THOSE guys (but that would be awesome.)

In the scheme of things, Penn’s campus is pretty small and completely walkable – it hardly takes more than twenty minutes to get from one place to another. So why have I been noticing more and more kids with bikes these days? A friend of mine pointed out how environmentally friendly bikes are, which would be true if they were replacing cars but is completely negligible considering the fact that here, they’re used in lieu of feet. Here are some of the types of people you may see weaving through the crowds on Locust:

1.) The Athlete
Because many athletes live on Baltimore (which is really only a few blocks away but might as well be Siberia), it’s understandable that they’d want to speed up their trips to class. But shouldn’t athletes be fast enough to get places twice as quickly as we mere mortals could, anyway?

2.) The Speed Demon
Maybe he’s really late for a midterm, or perhaps he’s just completely obnoxious. Regardless of his motives, this kid will turn you into road kill if you don’t watch your back. Seriously, try to physically watch your back, because he will pop up out of nowhere.

3.) The Guy Riding Super-Slow Because His Friends are Walking
While I would never condone Speed Demon-ness under any circumstance, there’s something to be said for actually using a bike to travel faster than you would if you were on foot. That being said, I always see people awkwardly wobbling on their bikes as they try to maintain the slow pace of their walking friends. Completely superfluous, and really annoying to get stuck behind.

4.) The Kids on a Tandem Bike-For-Two
Bold move.
 

Anyone who can think of other cycling personas will get a cookie (not from me, of course, but I'm sure you'll find one somewhere)!