I love facebook. I am not ashamed to admit this. Whether it is sitting at work bored (I mean...working hard...) or procrastinating on a paper, I'm on facebook just as much as the next college student.

And yeah, I found the new facebook to get a tad annoying. I hate those stupid applications (No, Yasmeen, I don't want to fracking be a vampire slayer with you, OR know what 50's pinup girl I am, dammit!). Facebook chat was also a little stalker-y for me (Do I REALLY need people to know how much I'm on there?)

What finally hit me today, though, were the new facebook ads. What used to be a simple task of paying $5 to get your ad run on the facebook sidebar has become a brand new marketing sensation-- complete with marketing tactics such as "choosing your audience". Example:


Not only can you target to age and gender, but advertisers are now able to target based on INTERESTS (I like that facebook just KNOWS that someone will have "Mean Girls" as their main interest. Way to go, College Students). Sometimes the ads are prevalent, such as music festivals or literature things (for me, anyway). I have started seeing some completely ads, however. Such as the one above, from Robbins Bros., a popular engagement ring store.

Uhm... ok. not gonna lie, I am NOT ready to commit, Robbins Bros. Why are you showing me, a 20 year old female with no interests that say "marriage" or "jumping into things too fast" this ad?!?! Not that some people aren't ready to get married, but the probability of anyone spending this much time on facebook who isn't even old enough to toast at her imaginary wedding getting married is REALLY unlikely. Shouldn't that Ad be focused more towards people that are, I don't know, READY to get married? Like women whose interest are NOT things like "Shaking it like jello so the boys say 'hello!'"?!?! Does that girl seem like she's ready to get hitched?? You don't know the first thing about whether or not I'm "ready"!! I am only 20! The last thing I need is yet another person attempting to force me on a train I don't even have a ticket for! Besides, I'm the girl! I'm not supposed to by the ring, HE is!! Oh, and the last thing my freaking-out-about-graduation boyfriend needs to see on HIS page is some ad saying "by the way, as if your life and trying to find a job weren't worrysome enough, it's time for you to get MARRIED too!!". Thanks, facebook. You've practically ruined my relationship.

Obviously, I jest. But some of the ads are just plain ridiculous. No facebook, I don't need YOU to tell me how to improve my relationship, because I don't think you (or any website) can really do that. And no, I don't want to know how to make that much money in an hour (it seems questionable), I don't need to bejewled that badly, and I certainly DON'T need a "cartoon" me. And while your "patented" method to "win" back my ex (cuz that's not creepy) might interest me, I still don't think it's the best idea.


Oh, and thanks for calling me fat. Just what I needed.

So, facebook, I love you, and I know that this is just part of your gradual and eventual world take over, and I'm ok with that. But please, excercise some quality-control with your ads. And please, advertisers, I know your point is to get me to buy things, but honestly. Maybe "focus" your market a little better. I'm much less likely to buy from you when you are freaking me the f*ck out.