Everyone knows that the ladies love six-pack abs…

Too bad you don’t have them, because beer, everyone’s foamy, delicious friend, destroyed your gut and doomed you to wearing a XXXL fraternity sweater.

Still, there is now hope for those stricken with beergut-itis, thanks to this aptly named Miracle Diet.

While the Atkins Diet and other comparable weight loss solutions would have you give up keg stands, the Miracle Diet encourages you to do them more.

Follow these easy steps to success:

1. Become bulimic; purging is a must. [Note: Bros don’t vomit in front of other Bros; nor do they admit to ever doing so.]
2. Lose your job, so you don’t waste money on food. This is perfect for college students, because we don’t have them anyway.
3. Shotgun enough beer to pass out; the incapacitation keeps you away from food.
4. Surround yourself with like-minded friends, because “normal” ones will only encourage your nasty eating habits.

Done.

Enjoy your six-pack abs… and the subsequent bounty of sorority girls.