In a startling scientific discovery, researchers came out saying that most of the "pure" bottled water we drink is not pure. Not even a little bit. Some even contain 3-times the amount of cancer-causing chemicals than what is legally allowed.

MSNBC reports that an environmental group from Washington funded the study, in hopes of forcing bottle water companies to warn consumers about the dangers of their water. Researchers found a a number of unusual and icky-sounding chemicals in our water:

Lab tests detected 38 chemicals in 10 brands, with an average of eight contaminants found in each kind of bottled water. Tests showed coliform bacteria, caffeine, the pain reliever acetaminophen, fertilizer, solvents, plastic-making chemicals and the radioactive element strontium.

Uhm, I'm not a scientist, but none of those things sound good. Researchers, however, disagreed with me.

Beyond that, researchers also discovered that two brands, Sam's Choice by Wal-Mart and Acadia of Giant Foods, had chemicals that ARE harmful: 

Researchers tested one batch for each of 10 brands. Eight of those did not have troubling levels of contaminants. But two brands did, so more tests were done and those revealed chlorine byproducts above California's standard. The researchers identified those two brands as Sam's Choice sold by Wal-Mart and Acadia of Giant Food supermarkets.

 

The other eight, which researchers didn't identify, carried legal levels of many contaminants. Some of those chemicals, like arsenic and the solvent toluene, have been tied to health risks. Some of the contaminants apparently came from pollutants often found in tap water, and others probably leached from plastic bottles, the researchers said...

 

Water researcher Dr. David Carpenter, director of the Institute for Health and the Environment of the University at Albany, who had no role in the study, singled out trihalomethanes as the biggest concern because of strong research links to cancer.

 

"These are levels that should not be in bottled water," he said. 

So it seems that no matter what we do, the water we drink is just going to be chock full of nonsense. That's just great. Good to know that someone out there is checkin' on my safety. Also, props to Walmart, who not only seem to be really good at mistreating workers but good at giving us cancer too. Go team!

I think it's time to grab my Brita pitcher and hide in my bomb shelter. It seems nothing is safe anymore.