(Sorry to subject you to this picture twice, but it's all I've got.  
                                            I can't bring myself to search for more.)
 

After news broke that the 2009 senior class president was busted for stealing bus tickets from the Memorial Union Information Desk--to facilitate his spring break trip to Puerto Rico--Oliver Delgado has gone into inept damage control mode.

Step 1:  Admit. Caught red-handed with the tickets (by matching serial numbers), Delgado admitted to stealing the six bus tickets.

Step 2:  Plead not guilty.  Prior admissions are irrelevant...in La La Land.
"I definitely accept responsibility," Delgado said.  Sure seems that way, in Bizarro World.

Step 3:  Displace Blame.  When the Union bus travel desk was closed, Delgado simply “didn’t know what to do,” he said.  I mean, clearly his only option was to steal the tickets.  What's that you say about purchasing tickets on the bus?  Ludicrous!  Huh, he should have planned ahead?  Lunacy!

“I didn’t go with the intention of stealing; that’s not who I am, and that’s not the way I was brought up,” he added.  Nah, when faced with his options, he just decided to steal right there on the spot.  That's better.

Why did he steal six tickets instead of two for Delgado and his travel-mate?  Well, Delgado was "forced (forced!) to steal all six tickets because they came bundled together."  They must have been welded together one can only assume.

"Delgado said the situation is a “learning experience” and that he has no plans to resign his position." 

Even his teachers ain't singing his praises:
An alleged former teacher of Delgado's commented in the Cap Times: 

"Patience says:
This is not surprising. I had this young man as a student, and he's a politician, through and through. Tries to get by on his charm and his resume instead of effort and responsibility. I couldn't believe it when he was elected class president. Well, I could, but..."

Ouch.

(Quotes from The Badger Herald)