Alright, freshmen. You may think you're tre cool for going to Safeway and buying your very own groceries, but seriously, get a grip. Wait until you're paying way too much for a tiny, rat-infested apartment and living off toast and the cheapest ramen you can find, saving up money for that handle of Popov you want to buy for your house party next weekend (or Smirnoff, if you like your friends). That novelty trip on the 51 bus to the grocery store becomes your worst nightmare, even if you don't count the 30 minute wait for a bus that's supposed to come every eight minutes.

Word of advice: Start stealing from the dining halls now.