Contrary to popular belief, dishy star of the Harry Potter movies, Daniel Radcliffe is not, repeat for the benefit of persistent disbelievers, NOT coming to Princeton in the fall.
He’s NOT going to live in newly-constructed Whitman, he’s NOT going to be performing with PUP (Princeton University Players), and he’s NOT, repeat, NOT going to be drinking with you in the Tower Tap Room.

NO, NO, NO. NON, NON, NON. NYET. NYET. NYET!

This vicious rumor originated in none other than that beacon of honest reporting, The Daily Princetonian.

And yes, you’re reading the right article. Even though it’s from January, OTR sources are still getting asked the same questions: When’s he getting there? Have you met him yet? When are you planning on getting him drunk enough to make bad the decisions that he doesn’t remember?

This article was featured in the Joke Issue of the Prince. But, like, couldn’t they have written that most relevant of informational pieces in bigger font, or something?