A new meaning to the “hump day treat”

It may be a topic on the ‘hush hush’ when mom & dad are involved in the conversation, but talking about sex doesn’t seem at all to be a big deal. A media driven society so insistent on displaying or referring to sex any chance they get means that sex controls every aspect of our lives: from talking about it, hearing about or just plain doing it. As more and more college kids are getting it on, you might as well know what you are in for. No, this isn’t your average sex talk. This is the vital information you didn’t know about all that crazy sex you are having; and trust me, the perks might just be worth having that fling with that guy you were once considering to dismiss.

Foreplay:
If you aren’t one to jump right into the sack, you might be burning more calories than you think. Taking your sweet ass time might mean a sweeter six pack in the long run. Tickling your next victim could mean that he/she could be burning 17 extra calories one wouldn’t if they jumped right into things. And if you are really trying to burn off that extra slice, adding a vibrator to the mix could mean an additional 114 calories off the ole’ gut. Bravo foreplayers: you do your personal trainers proud.

Positions:
“What’s your favorite posish? That’s cool with me, it’s not my favorite, but I’ll do it for you”. Though Tenacious D knows how to f**k her gently, I don’t think he knows how truly important positioning is. Missionary style means ladies burn 16 calories while men burn 32. Don’t be discouraged ladies; getting on top means you burn 75 calories while he burns a measly 23.

Places:
Oh the places you’ll go. If you are kinky little thing, you might want to persuade your significant other to change things up. Getting it on on something that isn’t your bed may require more skill and hard work which burns off those calories. A piano bench, for example, will burn off 29 extra calories and pump up those biceps. And if you are really looking to go Schwarzenegger, doing it on the monkey bars means an extra 85 calories that are burnt off in the process. Now, feel that burn.

With a weight-driven society filled with workout junkies and the pressures of being thin, are you at all surprised that such calculations exist? This may just be another way to lose some extra pounds, or a damn good excuse to get it on.

Thanks calorie lab