Say No To Bulk: Sam's Club Collegiate Card

Say No To Bulk: Sam's Club Collegiate Card

Forbes reports the warehouse shopping giant, Sam’s Club, will offer a new collegiate membership card to hungry college students with money to spare. The “college card” will have the same advantages as their $40 standard membership card with the addition on a $15 gift card to kick start spending. All students need to sign up is a valid university ID and a university email.

 

Sam’s Club spokesperson, Susan Koehler, admits that the new membership is a ploy to hook students into spending more at Sam’s Club, “We're going to continue to look at ways that we can enhance this, and we do see these potential new members as the next generation of Sam's Club members," she said. No surprise, since Sam’s Club is a portion of Walmart, Soul-Sucking-Vipers Inc.

If you and your housemates do choose to purchase this card, there are some perks and some unnamed disadvantages to buying in bulk. Here are some tips for staying clear of bulk purchase embarrassment.

 

1. Don’t Purchase Condoms or Lubricant In Bulk

We all would like to think that our dorm rooms or campus apartments are veritable dens of ravish and romance, but don’t flatter yourself. At the end of the semester you’ll have a mortifying amount of prophylactics left over with no place to stash them. Take some sound advice and make these purchases at the drugstore, in the normal size.

 

2. Don’t Buy Condiments

Ketchup, Mustard, Mayo, just say no. You’ll never use as much as you think, and you will:

a) Use it during a drunken food fight.

b) Make disgusting mayo and mustard sandwiches (ugh, avoid the unnecessary stomachache).

 

3.  Beware of the Easy Mac

It's cheap, it's marginally acceptable in taste and your first instinct is to buy all of the boxes on the shelf.

 

Wrong!

 

Buy a variety of dorm-friendly food. Don't fill your cart with Easy Mac, Ramen, or popcorn.

 

4. Extra Large Doesn't Always Mean Cheaper

The humongoid bottles of shampoo and conditioner don't always end up cheaper than the normal store price. Check the price per unit, compare and save.

 

5. Make Sure You Have Room For Your Purchase

No one wants to make room under their bed for your giant jar of dill pickles. Buy what you absolutely need and not what you want!! This means shopping on a full stomach and making a list before you head to the store.
 

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