If your idea of a great Friday night involves slipping a drunk girl a roofie so that you can date rape her, you might just be The Douchebag.

You'll fit in wonderfully with the guys at Vanderbilt who like to "forcibly fondle" the drunken freshmen Vandy Girls wandering back to Branscomb after a night on frat row.

You might join a frat--but that won't be enough to make you cool (and your brothers will probably have just as much trouble tolerating you as all the girls you hit on do).

I bet you pop your collar, too. . .  Douchebag.

But we salute you, because you make the rest of us look a whole lot better.