Ah, we should have known. Beloved blog-subject Montauk Monster is, most likely, a viral marketing hoax for the Darell Goldberg movie Splinterheads. The Splinterheads movie official website proudly sports a picture of the Monster and says "We have the Montauk Monster." Apparently, the woman who originally reported the Monster's existence is director Goldberg's sister, Rachel Goldberg.

On the plus side, global warming is not as bad as we thought it was.