• Why work out on your own for free when you can pay $110 for a Nintendo Wii fitness class at your local gym?

• Imagine a car that doesn’t start until you pass a breathalyzer test; and then a barista who refuses to blow into the interlock device for you; so you have to sit in your car to sober up only to be late for work. That’s rough.

• Iowans are fulfilling their civic duties by bolstering the economy while intoxicated. How do they do it?

• Check out a real-life Borat neon green ‘mankini’. Is niice. Not!

• Have you heard? Barack Obama is already President. At least that’s what it says on the seat of his Air—I mean, O-Force One.