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Things To Bring To College #3

Things To Bring To College #3

In our third installment of Things To Bring To College, we venture from the real world to that of Facebook. Girls: your facebook profile is approximately as important to your social life at Vanderbilt as is your personality. For those of you wishing to join sororities, keep in mind that you will be judged on a combination of the outfit you wear to rounds, your reputation at the frat houses, and your facebook interests and tagged-by-others photographs.

That being said, bringing a Facebook relationship status to Vanderbilt is crucial. This relationship can be with virtually anyone. Kudos if you have a real significant other, otherwise, engage in a relationship with your best friend, your neighbor, or any sort of aquaintance. Relationship statuses are particularly intriguing when they are "Complicated" and with a student at another university. By all means, do NOT leave your relationship status as single.

Facebook relationship statuses serve a plethora of reasons: to validate yourself in the social community of Vanderbilt, to designate yourself as "humorous male" (Example: John Douche is In A Relationship with...Jack Ass), and most importantly, to dismiss any claims that you are a whore. I have found that at Vandy, it is ok to spread your legs wide and often...as long as everyone on Facebook knows you're just drunk, or messing around and you can't REALLY be a slut...because you're in a relationship.
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Comments

Anonymous
Oh, snap. Posted 07/17/2007 3:38 PMReply
Izzy
Well, maybe this works within the Greek system, but for the rest of us, I mean, we totally see through it, and we aren't afraid to call you a whore. But don't worry--there aren't that many of us who still have our own souls. Posted 07/18/2007 2:57 PMReply

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