So, you're an upperclassman who hasn't gotten any action in months (except for accidentally ****ing your high school ex while you were home over the summer). What's a girl to do?

We know the Vassar odds, we know it's average 60% female, 40% male, but the senior class and sophomore class are 70% female, 30% male. And, of course, since it's pride week(ish), let's not forgot the estimated 20% homosexual population. Uh I can't do the math, but you're looking at a couple of dweeby chem majors and a small pool of legitimately hot, available guys. ("Available" is a broad term that includes guys who have girlfriends, because as we say at Vassar, girlfriends are temporary, boyfriends are forever).

This is what you do: Be the cool older girl. That's right, go for the freshman. Get them before they start to sexually experiment. (Or, better yet, get them to sexually experiment with you!). Around 1/5 of the freshman class won't be straight by the end of first semester. 1/3 by the end of that fateful first year. Then you always have a couple stragglers who won't figure it out until junior year.
(It usually goes like this:
"You're gay."
"No I'm not **pause for two years** oh, you're right.")

So, now you need to figure out how to get a freshman boy.

Step 1: Stalk the facebook. Advanced search: male, class of 2011. (sometimes it helps to add "interested in women." Don't bother using "single" as a search criteria because 95% of those girlfriends will be out of the picture by the middle of freshman week.

I have to tell you, though, I've started some preliminary scoping of the frosh boys, and it's not looking good, unless you're into short, ugly dudes (which, you know, I am, but these guys are like really really short and really really ugly).

So I guess you can start stalking too. If nothing else, it's fun to figure out who doesn't know he's gay yet.