A good friend of mine just completed her USC freshman orientation session. She came back feeling “much better” because she “knew a lot more about everything”. After thinking about that comment for a few moments, I thought back to my orientation and realized there are so many things that you don’t learn at orientation but definitely should know before you end up sitting in Writing 140 at 9am on a Friday with the worst hangover of your life. Here are some very helpful suggestions and key terms (USC administration approved, of course):

1. The Row: this is frat row. Caution: the Row and alcohol may cause you to do some very stupid things that you will most likely regret. You might wake up the next morning somewhere you don't know, in clothes that aren't yours (or no clothes at all), possibly have scratches or broken bones.
2. Writing 140: It is unfortunately a necessary evil. It is very rare that anyone can escape it. To ease the pain and suffering it may cause, take it anytime after 1pm so that you may spend the mornings finishing up that paper you meant to write before you went out last night.
3. EVK: apparently this abbreviation stands for ‘Everybody’s Kitchen’ but I am pretty sure it stands for Worst Dining Hall Ever (maybe in another language?). I highly recommend avoiding it and if you absolutely have to eat there, the waffles are your best choice.
4. the 9-0: this is short for the 901 Club, a.k.a the Hole. This local hangout and club is pretty dirty but great for any Monday or Wednesday you want to go out and have a good time. Fake id’s are suggested (in the case that you don’t have a real one), however, the bouncers hardly ever hesitate to accept cash.