Okay, the folks at the Brown Daily Herald must be a little tired this morning.  The rather unfortunate (for the gondolier) juxtaposition of headlines and articles today implies that Providence gondoliers are responsible for an increase of reported sex crimes. 

Whether the gondoliers are extraordinarily sexually aggressive or simply encouraging their passengers to report the sex crimes acted against them remains unclear.  I'm 73% sure that the Brown Daily Herald does not mean to imply that all people who wear striped shirts and carry big sticks are sex offenders, but the other 27% of me wonders if that is, in fact, the message.  It could also be that I need another cup of coffee.  Still, I'm sticking to the canal banks at the next waterfire just in case.

I posted a screen shot, just in case the powers that be cotton on to their almost-an-error, but here's the text just in case:

"Reported sex crimes more than double from '06 to '07

by Joanna Wohlmuth in Campus News
The number of sex crimes reported at Brown more than doubled from 2006 to 2007, according to a report released last week, a change that University officials said demonstrated students' increased willingness to seek campus resources following an incident.…"

After the elipses comes the picture of the poor gondolier (sorry Evan!) whose reputation will be forever marred.  Did the incident involve an Italian boater with a big hat?  Was the stick involved?  Did anyone get seasickness?  Were thousands of people watching from the banks as the flames of passion, and firewood, burned?  Cuz that's totally hot... I mean, that's just sick, sick is what it is... right?  God, gondoliers are hot...