If anyone in the College Park area has noticed someone stalking them recently and want to get to know that stalker better, head on over to Craigslist.

A certain Maryland student, looking for some fun guy on guy action, has his eye on not one, not two, but THREE random people he’s seen in the last few days. Here’s some highlights from his absolutely ridiculous post:

“In Arundel Mills...
I was in the bathroom and you came and sat down in the stall next to me on either Saturday/Sunday (I'm thinking Sunday but could be wrong). You had red g-string on which drove me wild. I didn't see your face, but know you were wearing white shorts with a goldchain. “

“Again, probably on Sunday, I was in the line for Cold Stones and you were wearing a green shirt. You have the sexiest face, skin, eyes, and feet I have ever seen. We both ordered cookie don't you want some. I asked for an extra cookie =^)

“On Rte. 100...
Today (Thursday), you were driving a BMW. You were one hot bear daddy. I keep driving around to get a better look at you. I even let you pass me. Was it just me, or were you leaning back to see me when I took the exit for Odenton/Linthicum?”

I don’t even have a closing line for this….