Just received this in the mailbag from an anonymous tipster (edited for mind-numbingess, but everything is SIC):

"I'm a freshman and...there's this sophomore girl in [KKG] who has been telling me all their recruitment secrets and Ive told all my friends, and we want to find out if you can tell us if they're true. For example, we're worried we'r

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There are a lot of REALLY stupid sorority shirts being sported on some of NU's classiest ladies, but worst of all has to be Alpha Phi's. Without giving too much away, try to track down one of the young women wearing a "What a Catch" shirt, then ask them to turn around. Then laugh in horror. Repeat. It never gets old.

Captain Obvious: Have you ever had fun at the Deuce? No one goes to the Deuce because it's fun. They go so that they can tell people on Friday morning that they were at the Deuce.

Fact: Northwestern was voted the 10th most fashionable (or 2nd least fashionable, depending on how full your Big Gulp is) school in the Big 10 by Women's Wear Daily.

Fact: Clinton Kelly (of "What Not to Wear") is coming to marshall our homecoming parade. Coincidence?

One hopes that Clinton is going to do everything he can while waving his wand

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Of note: Every major thoroughfare in campus is blocked off somewhere - which is kind of a cruel joke for the poor freshman who is on the hunt for Lunt, but somehow walking into Harris at 7:58. All this construction means that it's going to take you at least an extra four minutes to get to Tech from Parkes by having to trudge Sheridan, and could

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I don't know if you heard the horrifying news, but a box of tools was nonviolently removed from the Chicago campus. A greater tragedy has never struck Northwestern. If you want to protect yourself and loved ones from crimes such as these, you are advised to "notify the...Evanstono [sic] police department immediately." That must be what all those

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The Northwestern senior "Bar Prowl" is tomorrow, and no one seems to know about it. While good in theory (and scoring bonus points for including Bat 17, the best bar in Evanston due to its inclusion of deli meat), the site is pretty bootleg - misspelling "favorite," naming its graphic "prawl," and not capitalizing "Evanston." Did Mary Desler sta

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Surely you haven't missed the exciting news that Northwestern is, in fact, recognizing Constitution Day. Can you imagine anything more exciting than a holiday that doesn't affect anyone in the student body, given that none of us have arrived on campus yet? Thank God that an e-mail notification was sent out informing us of Northwestern's non-cele

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Need more be said? That photo seems to sum it up: NU so close, yet so far. 

On the bright side:
1. The loss could be seen as an act of philanthropy, giving Duke sports fans something to cheer about after an awkward year and tough loss to our girls' lacrosse team.
2. The halftime show was a good source of general hilarity. Bonus points to the

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A source spotted three inebriated, fratty meatheads ("Think Delt or Lodge") calling it an early night on the purple line Friday. Around midnight, one of the gentlemen whipped out his cell phone and began shouting at a friend who apparently was screening his phone calls. Said gentleman took his drama to the end of the car for a more private discu

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