No one is terribly surprised that details are surfacing that A-Rod has allegedly cheated on Madonna with a model named Melissa Britos. He met her at a party about a month ago and became “obsessed” with her because well, she’s insanely, ridiculously hot.

"One of the model's friends said, "He became obsessed with her. He sent her at least a dozen text messages, asking her to spend time with him."

A few days later, A-Rod was seen dropping Melissa off at her hotel and she wearing the same clothes she had on the night before.

They were just talking and lost track of the time, right????"

I feel like having sex with Madonna today would kind of be like poking the cryptkeeper, so I’m sure A-Rod started aggressively looking elsewhere once he realized this. There are surprisingly only two existing photos of this girl online, but I’ll bet you ten bucks she’ll be in Maxim within a month.

Somewhere Guy Ritchie is laughing his ass off.

UPDATE: JACKPOT. Full gallery! Now we're swimming in Melissa Britos pictures!