Five Dorm Posters You're Not Allowed to Have and Five You Are

Poster selection is key to having a dorm room that doesn’t make you like either a douche or a dork. It’s a fine line, but I’m here to help you stay on course.

NO:

The “College” Poster – This really should be blatantly obvious by now. This is the least creative dorm poster EVER. It’s an iconic image but there are entire hard drives full of pictures of sorority girls trying to imitate the famous Jack-chugging pose with the cap on.

Ridiculous Naked Chick Posters – I was never really sure what the intended goal was with these posters. Either you’re so sex-starved that you feel the need to constantly look at boobies for the majority of the day, or you feel that girls you bring to your room will be inspired by the model physiques they see and work hard to present that kind of body to you. Good luck with that.

The “Inspirational College” Posters - These are all the “clever” posters that show how you can learn some deep life lesson from playing beer pong or doing a kegstand and they fall into the desperately unoriginal category. The posters they make fun of (like a picture of an eagle soaring with “Freedom” as a caption) would actually be cooler since at least you’re being ironic.

300 Posters – This is a tricky category. It’s a general consensus that 300 is a great movie (it’s also a general consensus it’s racist and sexist but whatever). But if you have a giant poster of Leonidas or Xerxes hung up in your room, people might have a sneaking suspicion that you either really like looking at six-pack abs or dominatrix transvestites.

Superhero Posters – I mean, we all liked Iron Man to some degree, but do you really need a giant poster of his face in your room? (although Robert Downey Jr. posters are widely encouraged). These kinds of posters will project a certain amount of nerdiness, despite how aesthetically cool they are. That being said however, there is one exception to this rule, which leads me to…

YES:

Dark Knight Posters - We’re all still reeling from the greatness that was The Dark Knight this summer, so it’s more than OK to have posters of it up in your room. However, although Batman is great, the movie’s main star, the Joker, should probably be featured most prominently, because well, he’s awesome. I wish they made Harvey Dent posters though.

“The Kramer”– The Kramer never goes out of style. It shows you have good taste in comedy, and now that Seinfeld has been off the air for so long, the poster itself is almost vintage. Also acceptable is “The Costanza” but be warned it’s much less pleasing to look at.

Underappreciated Movie Posters – Hot Fuzz was awesome, yet somehow everyone overlooked it for Knocked Up and Superbad last year. Show your movie-viewing pride for movies that don’t get enough press. No Donnie Darko does not count. No Fight Club does not count. No Boondock Saints does not count. I could do this forever. Use your imagination.

Vintage Posters – Posters like this James Dean one are super classy. They look sharp and they tell people how super sophisticated you are since you know people that have been dead for decades. See also Frank Sinatra, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Heburn, etc . etc.

Chewie – ****ing look at it! Spectacular.