10. Sinbad – Quite possibly the lamest pirate on the list, at the time it didn’t seem like such a bad idea to make an animated pirate movie. Unfortunately, audiences weren’t wowed with Brad Pitt’s voicing (he’s really more of a visual creature) and the film tanked. The associations with the incredibly unfunny comic probably didn’t help either.

9. Corsair and the Starjammers – They sound like a glam rock band from the ‘80s, but the Starjammers are a group of space pirates from X-Men lore who even got their own (shortlived) issue published. They were led by Corsair, who was revealed to be Cyclops’ father. But even having pirate blood in him doesn’t make him any less lame.

8. The Orions – A race of space pirates, their green-skinned slave girl, Vina, sexified up the galaxy in the premiere episode of Star Trek. Since then, in other series they’ve been reported to have attacked Earth’s cargo ships and capturing other races for their slave trade, just like any true pirate would.

7. Watchmen’s Black Freighter Pirate – You might only know about Watchmen from the buzz about the upcoming movie, but in Alan Moore’s brilliant novel, there is embedded another comic book. Tales of the Black Freighter tells the story of a marooned traveler who believes pirates killed his family and shipmates. Only in the end does he realize that it was he who was the true pirate, and he is responsible for the deaths of all those he loved.

6. Pirates XXX – The most expensive porn movie ever made, with a budget of $1M, Pirates features an entire boatful of busty young lasses on a quest to have their booties plundered. The film has some of the highest production values ever seen in porn and has an all-star cast Including Jesse Jane, Teagan Presley and Jenavive Jolie.

5. Serenity Crew – The ragtag bunch of adventurers from fan favorite series Firefly could be called anything from space pirates to space cowboys. The roamed from star system to star system on the freighter Serentiy under the leadership of Captain Malcolm “Mal” Reynolds, smuggling, robbing and being all around very pirate-ish.

4. Captain Hook – Peter Pan’s arch nemesis is something of a queen, as demonstrated in this image taken from the Disney movie. Not the kind of gritty, swashbuckler that normally comes to mind, he’s more of a nancy, with his purple garb and his perm and his irrational fear of crocodiles and clocks.

3. Maddox – He may be an ****, but he’s an **** whose site, the self-described "Best Page in the Universe," gets millions of hits a day even though he only posts a new article every six months. He jumped on the pirate bandwagon early on, claiming that he himself was one, which therefore made him the pinnacle of manliness. That may be debatable, but he is pretty damn funny when he actually gets around to writing something.

2. Jack Sparrow – Johnny Depp can be fully credited with turning pirate interest into full blow pirate hysteria as he swaggered onscreen in Pirates of the Caribbean in 2003. Moaning about rum and sword fighting like well, a drunken pirate, his antics carried him all the way through three films, even as the preposterous storyline was falling down all around him.

1. The Pirate Bay – The Swedish website has been a beacon for the freedom to file share for years now. Users upload movies, songs and TV shows to be distributed amongst the world free of charge. Some say this is “illegal” but because of Sweden’s bizarre intellectual property laws, the cyber pirates are still roaming free, laughing at the media’s copyright lawyers. and only suffering setbacks when their headquarters is raided by the Swedish police every so often.