According to Dartmouth’s humor magazine Jack-O-Lantern, the College’s beloved, chronically intoxicated unofficial mascot, Keggy the Keg, went missing sometime in late August – the victim of an apparent kidnapping.

As Keggy’s caretakers were away from Dartmouth during the summer, his abduction went unnoticed until students returned last week for pre-orientation and found him missing from his residency, Robinson Hall room 205.

The Dartlog reports:

The theft has been reported to both Safety *and* Security. And Hanover Police. If H-Po finds Keggy in your frat or dorm room, they will not **** around.

 

In five short years, Keggy has become an engrained member of the Dartmouth community. We really love bringing Keggy to campus, but we have been unable to see the smiles on the wee '12s' faces this pre-o because Keggy has been unavailable for public appearances. And because his thieves failed to take the interior harness or costume, his shell alone cannot be worn by man.(In other words, Keggy will not be appearing at Homecoming, at other sports events, or anywhere else, until we get him back.)

Was this dastardly deed the work of the school’s Keggy-hating administration? Or, was it an inside job?

No one knows, but the folks at Jack-O-Latern aren’t laughing. “Since Keggy is our property, this is a CRIME!” they declared in an open letter posted on their site.

If anyone sees Keggy, please contact the authorities.

He is sorely missed.